♛ in love with a fairy tale

Talking to Non-Rat People about Rats

• Parent of Child: My son/daughter/kids want a pet. Do hamsters bite?
• Me: A little more occasionally than other pets, but mostly only when frightened or irritated.
• Parent: Do gerbils bite?
• Me: Not in my experience, but they're not the easiest to handle. They're more fun to observe, so if your kids want something to cuddle, we have other options.
• Parent: Do guinea pigs bite?
• Me: Only rarely. They're very shy, and small children may become bored of them before the guinea pig has completely warmed up to its new home.
• Parent: What is a good pet for young kids that is friendly and doesn't bite?
• Me: Rats have been domesticated over a hundred years--
• Parent: [making a face]
• Me: --and over the course of that century they've been bred not to bite even when frightened or hurt--
• Parent: [freaking out]
• Me: --they get close to 1lb fully grown so easy for even young children to handle without hurting--
• Parent: [eyes rolling back in head; foaming at mouth]
• Me: --and because they're social (hamsters are solitary) and cleverer than other rodent pets, they form very strong bonds with their owner--
• Parent: [gasping for breath]
• Me: --they give kisses--
• Parent: [writhing on floor]
• Me: --learn their name, and to do tricks--
• Parent: [begins to have a seizure]
• Me: --and can be litter box trained.
• Parent: [pulls self together, hasn't heard a word I said] You want me to get a RAT?? That's disgusting!